When we think of lesbians, the words “erotic” and “fantasy” come to mind for most heterosexuals; however, the irony is that we are really no different from them in many ways. When we hear the word lesbian we can think of relationship, person, woman, love, drama or anguish. We are so busy often identifying what our sexuality means and how it relates to the world that our sensual side is often forgotten and unloved.
We focus so much on pleasing everyone else, parents, friends, work, children, and of course our partners that our inner sex goddess leaves out. Being sexually confident has enormous power in keeping a lesbian relationship healthy and is the key to attraction if you are a single lesbian!
One of the most attractive aspects of an individual is their confidence, regardless of their orientation. A woman who feels attractive, comfortable in her body and sexual is automatically perceived as sexy!!! The great thing about being confident and sexy is that you don’t have to look like a super model or one of the L Word girls.
When you have sexual security you have the magic of seduction, you are able to take responsibility for what pleases you. You let go of all the walls and barriers that may be holding you back and you can relax and enjoy sex. Being a seductive lesbian means knowing what you want and how to get it, you can initiate sex and not worry about letting your woman know your innermost wants and desires.
A seductive lesbian (aka you!) is powerful, assertive in character, knows what she wants and needs, and how to ask for it. A seductress is connected to her sexual personality and smart enough to adapt and change quickly and maintain her strength. A diva warrior princess, she will fight another day for her sexual power and is always on the journey of self-discovery!
Being a sexual being is a part of you and it can be what breaks you or puts you down, so let’s work to empower her! Here are some tips:
- Masturbate! Explore your whole body and discover what makes you feel good!
- Dress! I have my hooker boots that I wear with my black panties and bra that only my girl knows how I look in them and she loves ripping them off!
- Some of us girly lesbians need to go shopping for sexy underwear… As for my tomboy girls and studs, you know we love to see you in your briefs or nothing under those jeans!
- Have positive sexual messages in your head. Some of us were taught as children to associate shame with sex. Some may also have been survivors of sexual or other abuse and find that being sexually positive can be very difficult. I recommended seeking professional help from a mental health profession to work on those issues.
- If your girl won’t tell you how beautiful and wonderful you are, kick her butt! Tell her how amazing she feels when she finds out and she shares it with you. My stomach turned when my ex-wife told me “I am the most beautiful woman in the world” and I really felt that she meant it!
- Believe in yourself and the limitless things you can do! You are an amazing creature; let me feel your energy ladies!
- Write down your thoughts or keep a journal, connecting with your inner self is relaxing and healing.
- My clients always laugh at me when I make them do this and I have told them for years that I have practiced this: look in the mirror and say “I love you, you are worth everything!” and then give yourself a BIG smile. Have to!
- Become a nudist! This will help reduce your anxieties about being naked. I grew up on nude beaches so running naked has never been a concern, in fact I’m pretty sure my whole neighborhood knows about my nude forms! I do not care!
- Read erotic lesbian stories… my girl Brook got me hooked on this stuff! Even better, write your own erotic adventure with yourself in it!
- Go find her first, try to initiate sex from tonight!
- Read her sex manual, I have plenty on my blog’s lesbian literature page.
- Elaborate! Exercising increases our self-esteem and makes us feel good.
- Smile. Smile. Smile. We want to see your beautiful face!
- Be a romantic, get some candles, play music that makes you want to dance or get naked… Get in the mood!
Most importantly, the key is loving who you are and having a new belief that you deserve to be pleased and feel pleasure. Don’t question who you are, recognize that you are a sexual person with fantasies, needs, secrets, longings, fetishes and desires. Explore your attitude about sex and about yourself, and challenge those negative thoughts.
You are a powerful sexual woman, full of passion and delight… say it loud… say it proud sister!
alex karydi~The lesbian guru
