Now that the affair is over, it’s common to want to know if you can still be friends after an affair. The answer is no and yes, but it’s not that simple, so keep reading.

Dare I say that most affairs are exciting because cheaters are experiencing their fantasy of exploring an intimate relationship with a person they are sexually attracted to? However, once reality sets in and one or both individuals realize the risk and potential consequences of cheating, they decide to put the matter on hold. Now the dilemma is if they are still friends after an affair.

I’ll assume that you (or a very close friend of yours) are struggling with this problem. I think it’s important to understand the dynamics of friendship and why you cheated on me before making a decision.

If your partner knows about the matter, the answer is no way. It will be almost impossible to stay friends while your partner tries to recover from the affair. If your partner doesn’t demand that you cut all ties with this friend after an affair, I’d sleep with one eye open if I were you.

If your partner doesn’t know about the affair then you have a few things to consider;

• Could your partner find out about the affair if they remain friends and hang out in the same circles?

• Will the person you cheated with get jealous and try to get you out of your current relationship?

• Do you have the willpower to resist the temptation to resume the affair after you’ve become friends?

• Do you have enough respect for your current love to end the friendship and give your total devotion to your current relationship?

There are no statistics on how many people can still be friends after an affair, but if I had to guess, I’d say it’s a small percentage. In my opinion, friendship will eventually result in a breakup of the current relationship.

So what should you do to stay friends after an affair? My suggestion is that you at least change your friendship to make sure you’re not tempted to cheat again. Make sure you’re not around this person in situations where you might be alone (especially if you’re consuming alcoholic beverages). You will not be able to control your desires and I guess you will cheat again.

If I were you, I would stop being friends after an affair and do it as quickly as possible. The only way you will commit to your current relationship is if you don’t think about or interact with the person you cheated with. Your heart will be in two places.