It is not easy being a married couple. People always try to give you advice on something. Of course, it is always done with the best and noble motives. Naturally, everything is useless. Throughout the years of living together, the couple inevitably breaks all the rules and taboos at least once. So how does it affect your life?
It’s time to smash the most popular myths about family life. We have deciphered the secret meaning of all the advice that husbands hear from the first day they get married.
So, myth number one: you shouldn’t go to sleep without making up after a fight. Well, it sounds reasonable enough: why take the risk? What if overnight the fight that has started over something insignificant just breaks out and becomes a real problem? It is better to put on makeup and go to sleep with clear conciseness and start over the next morning.
Our take: Just make a deal with your other half to postpone the continuation of the fight until morning, especially if it’s past midnight, you’re exhausted, and there’s no foreseeable end to the fight anytime soon. After all, not all arguments can be limited by time constraints, and sadly, not all of us can stop at the right time.
Of course it is bad to go to sleep feeling irritated after the fight. But it also has certain advantages, even if you sometimes sleep on opposite sides of the bed or in separate bedrooms, you will be fine, just like your marriage will be fine too.
The second myth is that the birth of the child brings you even closer to your spouse. Very often after the baby is born (especially if it is the first baby), the spouses get countless talking points. Although everyone is connected to the baby in one way or another …
It seems that the relationship has risen to a new level, but then the husband goes to work and the baby starts complaining or gets sick. The joy and fun this little one has awakened at first are gradually replaced by tiredness and irritation – what else can you expect after sleepless nights, continuous breastfeeding, and diaper changes? Naturally, not a single decent mother will vent her frustrations on a baby, and just anger falls on the one who is near. And most of the time it is the beloved husband.
Our opinion: the birth of a child is first and foremost a test of your relationship. Is there a solution? Yes. You just have to accept the fact that all married couples go through a crisis and usually at the time when they least expect it.
Also, a woman needs help caring for the baby; it is impossible to handle it on your own. The help and support of the loving husband helps the woman not to forget the roles she has in addition to being a mother, such as the role of wife and business woman. If a new mom still can’t even think about going out or is afraid to leave the baby with the dad, other family members, or a babysitter, then don’t rush things, let everything take its course.
Another myth: a husband and wife should not only be in a romantic relationship, they should also be friends. Sounds great right? After all, a wife knows her husband better than anyone, so why not consider him her best friend?
Our opinion: a romantic relationship is different from a friendship. Don’t be under any illusions that a person will succeed in becoming the embodiment of both passionate love and caring friendship. It just doesn’t happen that way.
In other words, don’t blame yourself if you don’t feel a friendly bond with your spouse; for this you have your girlfriends / friends. The important thing is to maintain that connection between them, and what you are going to call it is up to you. Always have an interest in your spouse’s life. As you go out in the morning, ask about your spouse’s plan for the day and when you see each other in the evening, be sure to ask how the day was and how successful they were with their to-do list.
The next myth is that unsatisfactory sex life is not a problem. The first few months after the baby is born, hormones, tiredness and excessive irritability do not contribute to the improvement of your sex life, so you should not force things to happen. A husband should treat the situation with understanding and accumulate patience.
Our opinion: At the risk of causing dissatisfaction to many young mothers, we strongly state that it is exactly after the baby is born that sex is extremely important and even necessary to preserve your relationship.
When you are constantly busy, you suffer from lack of sleep and chronic stress, when you see your husband only in the morning and late at night, sex is the fastest and most effective way to strengthen your relationship, even if you don’t. the more you feel that wild attraction you used to feel when you first got married.
Also, do not think that good sex requires particular conditions such as romantic dinner, special atmosphere and privacy, otherwise you will wait for this “ideal moment” forever, which will serve as one more reason for disappointment and stress. Don’t wait for the ideal circumstances, but rather take advantage of whatever opportunity you get. Learn to appreciate quick sex, release and dramatically expand your sexual repertoire.
Another myth: don’t fight in front of children. Seeing parents fighting is terrible and can traumatize a child’s nervous system. Young children unequivocally identify when you are irritated and angry (your mood is transferred to them), and older children who see their parents fight are afraid that they may get divorced.
Our opinion: Watching parents resolve a family conflict can even be helpful for a child, as they discover that even the closest people sometimes cannot come to a mutual understanding. It is impossible to avoid conflict. If your family life is not clouded by disagreements, then you have found your ideal match. But the ideal is so boring …
In other words, watching parents fight is okay for kids and even helpful. But there is a condition (as always). If your fight takes place in front of underage witnesses, you must fight according to the rule. Instead of insulting your spouse, simply express your concern in a civilized way. Condemn the action (or the lack of it) and not the person. If the fight is too heated and it is not possible to resolve it peacefully, try to make sure that the children are not in the room.
And the last myth: don’t take the other half for granted. This is the secret to a strong and happy marriage, isn’t it? Once you start taking your spouse for granted, you stop appreciating them.
Our Take: Taking the other half for granted means completely trusting them, trusting them, and believing that they will be there for you when you need them.
It also means that you have assumed certain responsibilities and roles in your family. When you have family and children, being absolutely sure of your partner only provides support and strength to your relationship. However, don’t forget that taking the other half for granted and taking all sacrifices for granted are two different things. A simple “thank you” works miracles.
