This is common. A man tells you that he doesn’t want a relationship with you or he tells you that he needs some space and wants to break up. However, after the breakup, he still calls you, he texts you, emails you, and keeps in touch. It can be a simple “How are you?” He may just contact you with random things, like a forwarded joke or some information he thinks you might value. You’re thinking, he broke up with me but he still contacts me, he must be having second thoughts.
Men stay in touch after a breakup because, on the one hand, it eases their guilt. They don’t really enjoy hurting a woman. They feel bad, so they think they are making you feel better by calling and texting you. The only one who feels better as a result of this is him. When they contact each other after a breakup, he leaves you in limbo as he gives you false hope that he still cares. If your boyfriend broke up with you, didn’t he give up these contact rights?
He probably still cares, but not enough to get back together. She may have even told you that she will always love you. She was not lying, it is very possible that she loves you. He just doesn’t love you the way he would love a romantic partner. The fact that he loved you in some way means that he will feel some pain.
This is exactly the reason why he keeps in touch. It is a way to facilitate your bread. That’s great, but all it does is prolong your pain. So by allowing him to keep in touch with you, you are agreeing to ease his pain and his transition back into the world of dating. Trust me, he will be back in the dating world. This contact does not do the same for you since you are still in love. His contact after a breakup leaves you stuck and unable to move on.
They also keep in touch to see if you’re still there. If they feel lonely or bored, staying in touch feels like you are leaving the door open for them. They want to keep you in the background, so to speak. They can get on your nerves when they feel lonely or bored. If you just get a random text asking how you are or how you are doing such and such, you can bet he’s just checking your temperature to see if you’re still there. It’s an ego boost for him and torture for you.
If my boyfriend broke up with me, he’d think he made his bed, now he has to lie in it. I’m not going to make your bed more comfortable. I’m not going to ease the pain of him and transition him. And you?
