Tales from the Crypt of Online Marketing #18

Why taking customer perspectives into account can keep them supporting your business

We all have them.

Days when everything pisses us off.

In fact, I doubt there is a human being on this planet who hasn’t been in a bad mood from time to time.

I know I have my fair share of them!

And for a variety of reasons too.

But there’s one thing we business owners have an unwritten rule about (well, it’s probably written somewhere by someone) is that whatever happens, we don’t bring our bad moods with us when communicating with customers.

Would you agree with that fundamental principle?

But how many times have you, as a customer or client, been on the receiving end of someone’s bad mood?

It happened to me recently and that one case literally destroyed a 30 year working relationship.

I had a hair appointment with the same girl I’ve been seeing for decades. She works out of her house and lives about 25 minutes from me.

I know exactly how long it takes me to get to her house, and I’m usually always on time.

Except the last two quotes.

The time before this last visit, I had an emergency right before I walked out the door. It was something I had to deal with or face dire consequences (like having a very angry customer on my hands!)

It meant that I was going to be about 5 minutes late for my appointment. I texted him as he was leaving saying I was in a hurry and would be a few minutes late.

She didn’t reply and never said anything when I got there. We had our usual girl talk which I was looking forward to.

This last time I needed to run a quick errand before my appointment. I completely miscalculated how long it would take to get from that other place to my stylist’s house. More… I got lost finding my way because I was coming from a different direction.

I didn’t want to risk stopping and texting her and honestly I thought I was only a minute away…except it was over 15 minutes before she finally arrived.

I have never been 15 minutes late for anything and felt terrible. I apologize profusely, but unfortunately, she didn’t want to hear any of it.

She was angry.

So angry, in fact, that she first lectured me about “always” being late, quoting my previous date text, and that she was sick and tired of constantly hearing, “sorry I’m late” like I was the only one. that she says that every time she walks into her room.

Disclaimer: I am Canadian. We apologize for everything, even if we are 1 minute late!

Amazed at how upset she was, especially knowing that I was the last appointment of the day, I apologized again and tried to explain why I was late and even offered to leave with wet hair to make up for being late so we could finish on time.

I didn’t know what else to do to correct my mistake.

She was so mad she gave me the silent treatment and just growled her “keep your head here” and “move to the sink” commands the entire time there.

I left with wet hair, 15 minutes earlier than our date would have ended if I had been on time, vowing never to return.

I realize that I was the catalyst that triggered her anger, and I also realize that she must have had a bad day before I came along, and I got the brunt of her anger.

I understand.

But as a customer, loyal for 30 years, there is no excuse to be treated like this.

Never.

When I have bad days like the ones she must have experienced, I put aside whatever’s going on and treat anyone I talk to that day, whether it’s one of our team members, a client, a prospect or even chatting on social media, with the utmost respect and kindness.

Even if they’re the reason I’m having a bad day.

There is no point in making the other person feel worse than I am feeling.

I found this experience so distressing that I posted it on Facebook.

I received a variety of responses, from owing her an apology (which I did) to justifying why she blew up, to demanding that I fire her on the spot (which I ended up doing).

These kinds of responses show how we are all human and we all look at experiences through our own lens and past history.

For me, I was taken straight to elementary school when I was bullied quite a bit. A feeling I never want to experience again!

For others, they sympathize with her where time is very important to them and get angry when someone does not respect it. (Actually, I’m the same way: being punctual is a big deal for me.)

One thing I have done as a result of this experience is find the lesson behind it all. On the one hand, I will definitely plan my time better and make sure I give myself enough time to do what needs to be done on time.

I also learned how fragile our relationships can be.

She lost a client of 30 years, and I lost more opportunities to visit someone I’ve known for a long time to get some of the valuable girl time I expect with each visit.

It doesn’t take much to destroy a 30-year employment relationship.

Yes, I realize that I could reach out and try to repair the fences, but I choose not to. At least not right now.

At the end of the day, this lesson demonstrates how important it is for all of us to control our anger. Realize that our anger is being received by the other person, and be aware of how he is receiving it with his own personal response. They won’t always understand where you’re coming from because they see things from a different perspective.

So what do we do when we have a bad day and business must go on?

If you ever feel angry, whether it’s justified or not, here are eight tips on what you can do to avoid creating irreparable situations with your customers:

1. Exercise. Go for a walk, go to the gym, box with a punching bag. Whatever works for you, do some venting.
2. To meditate. Or just sit quietly and practice deep breathing.
3. Yoga. Nothing better to focus our emotions and get back in touch with our body than practicing yoga.
4. Watch a fun show or listen to a positive podcast. It’s amazing how quickly your anger can change when you laugh or receive positive energy from another person!
5. Use anger as motivation. If you can control the scenario that is causing your anger, then you can do something about it!
6. Focus on something more positive. One great thing you can do here is think of something you are grateful for and focus on why you are so grateful about it. Putting yourself in a state of gratitude will activate those happy endorphins and snap you out of that angry mood fast.
7. Be productive. Feeling on purpose can be quite energizing. If you have something that calls your name, get to work and focus your attention on it.
8. Write in a journal. A great way to release that negative vibration from your body is to write it down. Keep writing until you’ve sold everything that comes to mind. Even if it’s not the same thing that made you angry in the first place, just let it out!

I’m curious to know if you’ve ever had someone get mad at you in a business relationship or lose your cool and get mad at a customer or service provider? How did it turn out? What lesson did you learn? And do you have any other tips on how to let go of anger to share?

For the success of your business,

Suzanne

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES:

1. READ: Learn principles of effective communication from an expert. This book by communications specialist Yvonne Douma is a must read. It will be available on June 8, but you can get on your notification list and get great bonuses if you buy on launch day: REFRAME: How to change your conversations to solve those messy conflicts.

2. LOOK: Have you ever been frustrated by another company’s lack of customer service and promised never to do business with them again? And you certainly never told anyone else about them? This is why customer service is so vital to business success, as I explain in this eTip episode on why it’s the main reason we have such a high referral rate: How Great Customer Service provides you with business references (on our website)

3. LEE: I guess all of us have been recipients of a situation where we’re not satisfied with customer service. But how do you respond? Read this excellent article by Kindi Gill, who shares great ideas on how to handle difficult customer situations: Five Tips for Handling Customer Complaints (on our website)