Distraction is a killer!

Distraction kills both people and relationships. The evidence for this increases daily; ignore it at your own risk. The average amount of time each of us spends in the cyber world is between five and six hours per day. Hey, I’m not looking at my smartphone or tablet much! So someone else must be doing my part in addition to theirs.

Texting while driving is an epidemic in our country today. One in four accidents is caused by it, resulting in 330,000 serious injuries. It’s scary, isn’t it? Studies in performance psychology consistently show that young people underperform on tests when their smartphone is on the desk, not turned on, not used, only available and within reach, compared to when it is absent.

In business, the smartphone is ubiquitous, which means that we are all less productive than we can be. Because our attention is divided between “here and now” and “there and then,” our communication and interpersonal relationships are suffering greatly. But it does not have to be like that. Here are 9 ways to have more control over your life and your loves.

1. Meditate at least once a day. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, focus inward, and disengage everything usual. Allow your unconscious mind to innovate.

2. Be aware of the proven side effects that your smartphone has on you, both physically and emotionally. Be aware of stress so you can combat it. When you find yourself squeezing and scrolling frantically, take a deep breath, count to ten, and start over.

3. Focus on your purpose by going to your devices. When you find yourself multitasking, like talking and writing, or texting and driving, just stop with the secondary task. Go back to the main job at hand. You will do much better and hopefully you will live to tell the tale.

4. Make sure you listen and respond with empathy when speaking on Skype or WhatsApp, etc. Focus on the tone of voice in your ear and your silences. Check your understanding of the messages they send you. Treat others the way you want them to treat you.

5. Censor your desire to check your phone when in the company of other people. When it rings or vibrates, you may experience the fear of missing “something.” The feeling will pass and the world will keep turning. Nothing is more important than authentic communication with the person in front of you.

6. Limit and schedule the usage time of your device. It is just a tool! A means to your ends. Every time you go online, ask yourself, “Is this the best way to do this?” Every little step will loosen the ties that grip your mind.

7. Share your rationale with anyone you interact with if there is an urgent personal or business need to be available. Never place your device between you and your colleagues, family or friends. Rather, say something upfront like; “There is a possibility that you may have to take a call. Please excuse me if that happens as we speak.”

8. Dare I say stop with selfies and food photos? Consider the time and resources required to post, reply, and verify. What could you do instead? How about registering with a client? Or call your partner or parents to let them know that you are thinking of them. Every minute you spend online is NOT dedicated to authentic interaction with the people in front of you.

9. Acknowledge that you are addicted to your device if you sleep nearby. If it’s the last thing you see at night and the first thing you look for in the morning, then you’re in trouble. It’s time to stop checking emails or social media at every opportunity. More than once a day is an expensive habit. The bedroom is not a place for smartphones. Keep two things in mind: 1) We all need a calm state of mind to achieve a good night’s sleep. 2) We are at our best and we are most creative immediately after sleeping. Take the time to listen to your thoughts before diving into the cyber whirlpool.

Smartphones, the Internet, and social media are here to stay. They are fantastic modern servo mechanisms. But there is also danger in them when we become their slaves. The answer to this postmodern dilemma is mindfulness, pure and simple. So, take back control and have a wonderful life without mobile devices.