I’m a fan of Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power. It is unfortunate that I did not find this book when I was in college. I think things would have been very different for me if he had done it.
Although I don’t follow all the laws laid out in the book (because most of them could make you a slobbery, cheating type of person), some of them speak directly to women. And if we’re going to talk seriously about empowering women, this is a good place to start.
I think that young women over the age of 18 should read more about the laws of power. They should at least understand them. Especially those girls who are going to enter the real world or the corporate world at some point in the future. If you are at least unaware of the power games going on around you, you are more likely to fall victim to them.
Not to mention that straight girls over the age of 18 are in “the snake’s den.” Many are very vulnerable to meeting the wrong men who just want to use and abuse a naive young woman.
Even women over 40 can benefit from learning the laws of power. But for now, in this series I’m just going to point out some of the laws that I think women of all ages should know about as soon as possible. Some of this may seem obvious, but many women don’t act like they know!
Greene’s fifth law is “Much depends on reputation: protect it with your life.”
A woman’s reputation
Your reputation as a woman precedes you. In some cases it follows you too. If she finds herself in one or more narrow social circles, she will come up against this law a lot.
For example, some men will only talk to a woman within their social circle because they have heard that it is easy. So while that girl is thinking “yeah, he’s that into me”, she’s really plotting and making a measured bet that she’ll have sex soon based on what she knows of his reputation.
So if you’ve ever seen a girl who has a bad reputation or isn’t particularly attractive and somehow gets all the attention from guys, don’t envy her. Pity her. It is possible that she is just a target. That is an unhappy and powerless situation to be in.
The type of men who will approach you generally depends on both your reputation and how you present yourself as a woman. If your reputation is that of a confident, intelligent, respectable lady, the kind of guy who showers on the Jersey shore will probably be far behind.
And even with strangers or people you just met, you’re blowing your reputation, whether you try or not. For example, let’s talk about sleeping with a man on the first or second date.
Come on ladies, we have to be realistic here. Men are not usually deep thinkers when it comes to women; they don’t feel any special connection with you after just one or two dates. Please stop watching romantic comedies that sell you a little on “love at first sight.” it’s false
So if you sleep with a guy on the first or second date, don’t be surprised or hurt when he treats you like a slut or an afterthought. If you drink like a fish when you’re in a bar, don’t be surprised when someone you put there treats you accordingly. It doesn’t matter how good you look or how good a woman you think you are.
Also, keep in mind that the places where you spend most of your time and the company you keep can affect your reputation, either positively or negatively.
The female reputation
So, as a woman, what are your biggest reputation concerns?
You may have your own opinions, but I’ll start with three important ones: sexual promiscuity, bad attitude Y lying.
Sex
Sexual promiscuity is a major problem for button pressing. The recent Slutwalk campaign is an example of this. But although I am 100% in favor of empowering women, I am aware and realistic about the differences between women and men.
On the one hand, women are the recipients of the sexual act. Women are naturally more susceptible to a number of drawbacks when it comes to excessive sex, such as pregnancy and health problems. Therefore, avoiding promiscuity is not only crucial to your reputation, but also to your overall health and well-being.
Also, why as a woman would you want to emulate the hoish behavior of a man? Rise above the nonsense. Elevate yourself. Don’t sleep with everyone you meet as a way of showing that you’re a player or “just like a man.”
Attitude
Your attitude as a woman is also a big part of your reputation. In some places, like the office, having a little attitude can help prevent you from being treated like a doormat. But when it comes to personal relationships, your attitude should be somewhere in the middle, neither too nice nor too bad.
One of the characters in my book is a ball-busting girl. Now, while people surely won’t mess with her, and she’s managed to find a weak-minded man to oppress, she just can’t last. No one can stand a person who always has a bad and unpleasant attitude. Eventually word gets out and people will start avoiding that woman at all costs.
On the other hand, you don’t want to have a reputation for being pushy. You can’t be powerful as a woman if you always let people walk all over you and get away with it, especially men.
In my opinion, the best reputation for a woman (or anyone else) is one where people say “that girl is so cool and chill…she’s fun to be with…but hey, don’t mess with she”. .”
Lying
I don’t think I can think of anything more damaging to a reputation than someone who lies pathologically. When you lie so much that no one knows if you’re telling the truth, that’s a big problem. As a powerful woman, others need to know that you are honest and trustworthy; this is important whether you’re at the office, in a relationship, or building a female friendship.
Attacks on your reputation
As a woman, when you have an enemy, be it a competitive woman or a vindictive man, what is the first thing they will try to attack to bring you down? Your reputation.
Again, that’s because your reputation is a source of power. That’s why people who don’t like you or want to put you down a bit will start spreading rumors or gossip. Don’t give them fuel for the fire and keep your private business as private as possible. Also, don’t become a woman known for attacking the reputation of others: mind your own business.
Build and maintain a positive reputation
So, to quickly summarize, what are the most important elements in building a solid positive reputation?
1. Treat your body like a temple
2. Treat and regard others with respect
3. Handle difficult situations with grace and intelligence instead of being reactionary.
4. Be loyal and trustworthy to people who love you.
5. Work hard and smart at whatever you do.
Start with this list and then build from there.
Manage a dirty reputation
What do you do when your reputation is already tarnished? That is a difficult question. I can only offer an opinion on this matter.
On the one hand, I think it is important to recognize the situation (if it is true). Don’t try to lie or cover up the truth because it only makes you look more deceitful. If you jumped from bed to bed in the past, don’t try to pretend you’ve always been a saint. I think the more a woman denies something that is obviously true, the more she persists and grows. Admit it and face it, even if only with your closest circle of friends.
You can also use a negative as a springboard into something positive. For example, many motivational speakers have a questionable past, but use the story to help others.
Start rebuilding your reputation immediately by living your life in a healthy, positive, wise, respectable and balanced way. Consult a trusted therapist for advice. Read books to gain knowledge and take time with yourself to explore who you really are as a person or who you want to be. Yes, it sounds a bit trite and corny, but it’s true. You can change a bad reputation simply by loving yourself and showing that love to the world through your actions.
I can’t help this
Greene makes a point very clear in his book. There is no way around this particular law of power. It is crucial to strive to keep her reputation intact if she wants to be an empowered woman.
