If you are looking for a good laugh on Valentine’s Day, then some Valentine’s Day jokes are perfect for you. Laughter is always good medicine and I bet you know that. So if you’re trying to bridge a gap with someone you love this Valentine’s Day, try doing it with some banter. Valentine’s Day jokes are a unique combination of love and fun and are sure to make your beloved laugh, smile and smile. And if you have a broken heart, then avoid those tears because Valentine’s Day jokes are here to bring joy to all troubled souls. Celebrate loving yourself on Valentine’s Day with the help of these Valentine’s Day jokes. Valentine’s Day is a day to be happy, to feel loved and pampered. So spread the joy with the help of these jokes listed below.
shocking love
A girl asked her grandfather if it would be too bad of him to send a card to Osama on Valentine’s Day. The old man was visibly surprised and asked why he wanted to do it.
“If I send him a card on Valentine’s Day, then he might think that I’m not bad and little children are not bad. So he might stop hating us and gradually stop hating others and also stop killing. Then he can come to us and say he loves us” replied the little girl.
Her grandfather was really moved by this thought of his granddaughter and went to give her a grateful hug, just as she said, “then when it comes out, the army can shoot him!”
As usual
At the post office, Roger saw a large, balding, middle-aged man with many heart-shaped envelopes. I was sticking ‘love’ stamps on each envelope and spraying perfume on them. Obviously curious, Roger walked up to him and asked what he was doing. With a big smile, the man replied, “I’m sending out 5,000 signed ‘guess who’ Valentines.” Roger was taken aback: “But why the hell?” attorney!”
chocolate wish
Six-year-old Sandy and her mother, Julia, loved chocolates. On Valentine’s Day, Sandy and her dad gave Julia a large box of chocolates. After a few days, Sandy started looking at the chocolates, hoping to pop some when no one was looking. She quietly walked into the kitchen and just as she was about to reach for the box, her mom said, “If you touch it, you have to eat it.” Sandy’s eyes lit up and she patted all the chocolates with her hands. “Does that mean I can eat it all now?”
Some crazy Valentine’s Day phrases:
“Did I tell you about that wonderful beaded dress I almost bought you? But then I thought you’d look great without it, anyway.”
“This restaurant is terrible, but it was the only place that offered 50% off dinner on Valentine’s Day, so I had to bring you here.”
“I know you don’t eat things with faces, that’s why I ordered turkey legs.”
“It’s been so much better since I accepted that my Valentine’s Day dates would never be smart.”
“My ex and I came here for our first date. Isn’t it nostalgic?”
“Weren’t you the geekiest person in college? How did you do a makeover?”
“Oh! Are you going to have that? Excuse me, I have to go to the ATM.”
“Thank God I listened to my friends, otherwise I never would have called you back.”
