In Part 1: Ten Differences Between a Confident and Insecure Leader, I compared ten key attributes that distinguish a confident leader from one who is unsure of his or her abilities. Part 2 is dedicated to giving you eight pips to help you succeed under an insecure leader.

For years I was an insecure leader. My biggest fear in leading others was that I would be “found out” and that everyone would see me not as a strong and competent leader, but as a clumsy fool. Through the years I have learned that the pursuit of infallibility is impossible to achieve and that making mistakes is part of the growth process. I’m less insecure today because I’m more comfortable saying “I don’t know” without everyone in the room thinking I’m an incompetent jerk. Having said that, I am sure in the knowledge that I will continue to screw up until my Maker calls me home.

For an insecure leader, it all comes down to trust. Insecure leaders are by default distrustful of others and will only let them into their inner circle after they have earned their trust. You might be the top performer in the leader’s organization, but if he or she doesn’t trust you, you’ll always be operating on the sidelines with the leader and likely have a stressful relationship. Unfortunate, yes; but that is the fact Jack. You have to accept it and accept it.

So, okay, you’ve accepted and embraced the fact that you’re working with an insecure leader. Whats Next? Here are eight specific things to consider to best ensure a good working relationship with the leader:

Respect the position of the leader – Regardless of how smart or competent you think your leader is, the first step to a healthy relationship with an insecure leader is to respect their position as leader. For an insecure leader, disrespect for the position is no different than disrespect for the leader.

Do not overdraw on feedback bank account – Insecure leaders need to hear that they are doing some things right. When presenting feedback to the leader, start with something positive before generating constructive feedback. The spoonful of sugar will really help the medicine go down better for the leader.

Don’t throw away the problems – If you have a difficult problem that you need help with, don’t leave it at the leader’s door. Clearly articulate the problem and present some alternatives for how you and the leader can solve the problem together. Dismissing the problem can make insecure leaders nervous because they may now feel like they are being tested.

criticize in private – Publicly criticizing or shaming an insecure leader puts the leader in a “fight or flight” situation and can severely damage your relationship with the leader. Save negative comments for a private session.

don’t stink – An intelligent leader will see that sucking is not sincere. Also, other team members will resent you if they see you as an intruder for personal gain.

Let the leader teach – Being insecure does not necessarily mean that the leader is incompetent. Find something you can learn from the leader and become a student of the leader’s point of view. Being less than open to learning something from the leader may suggest a problem with the leader’s attitude rather than just a problem with the leader.

Understand the leader’s communication style. – Some leaders really are “open doors”, while others prefer scheduled appointments. Some prefer verbal discussion, while others like written emails. Understand how the leader likes to communicate and stick to his style. Also watch out for the leader who says the politically correct “my door is always open” but seems annoyed if someone breaks in. Keep an eye out for the train tracks and understand how the leader likes to communicate.

Do not compromise your principles and values – Learning to work with an insecure leader does not mean blindly following what the leader asks you to do. If an insecure leader asks you to do something against his principles, be very clear in articulating his objection and why he is objecting.

My only advice to you is this: Recognize that you work for an insecure leader, accept it, and decide that you will make the best of the situation. Not only will you build a better working relationship with your leader, but it will also reduce your stress level.