Being dumped by your boyfriend is a difficult thing to go through. Some guys will easily let you down by asking you to stay friends, but they don’t really mean it. Others, however, really want to keep in touch with you… and very often, you with them. Especially in the case of a long-term relationship, it’s not easy to just let go of someone you see and talk to on a daily basis. For this reason, friendship with an ex-boyfriend may seem attractive to you.

However, the truth is that you will eventually get hurt. Either your ex boyfriend will meet someone else and break your heart… or you’ll meet someone else and you’ll have to give up the friendship for the sake of your new relationship. No boyfriend you start seeing will understand when you tell him you’re still dating and talking to your ex. Similarly, any new girl your ex-boyfriend dates is going to hate you on principle: after all, you have been intimate and close with her new man. Neither of these situations is attractive and there is no easy solution.

Now you may think that being friends with your ex is a good way to get back in a relationship with him, but you couldn’t be more wrong. The opposite has been shown to be true: friendship gives your ex almost everything he needs from a relationship with you, but without the burden of commitment. He has no incentive to go out with you again, because he already has company. And when it comes to sex, your ex may get it elsewhere…or he may even try to initiate sexual contact with you again, especially if he knows you want it. Sleeping with your ex can be comforting for a while, but ultimately it doesn’t work to get him back.

But wait, there is also good news. If your ex suggests that you stay friends after it’s over, there’s a good chance that your ex still isn’t sure about the breakup. He wants to keep you close while he decides whether or not he wants to date you again. He could try a new relationship, or he could stay single for a while… but as long as you’re still friends with him, he’ll keep your breakup strong. As long as you’re on the other end of the phone or keyboard, your ex boyfriend will feel comfortable enough to keep looking.

If your ex boyfriend wants to be your friend, take advantage of it to win him back. Get him out of his comfort zone. Instead of agreeing to have a happy time with him in a platonic way, let him know that you don’t think it’s a good idea. Get away from him and leave him alone for a while. This will make him miss you and think about the relationship.

When you don’t contact your ex, they will start to worry that your They are the ones who keep going. And if she loves you, she will be very upset when that happens. This will bring him back to you, all because you turned down his offer and broke off contact.

Don’t settle for friendship when you really want your ex back. Too often, it will lead to post-breakup heartache and pain that you are only delaying. By calling his bluff, you will find out if he really loves you or not. If he still has strong feelings for you, then you have nothing to worry about.