It’s something I’ve always known. It’s something I’ve always struggled with. I was told for years that if I wanted to be normal, I had to be more outgoing. But no matter what I tried, I found that I needed my alone time to recharge.

Was this something I needed to have fixed by a medical professional? Is it a curse that I was born with or was it simply a matter of choice that my environment conditioned me to make? These are hard questions to answer and I thought by digging deeper to find the solution, I might change myself.

But it does not work.

I’ve spent a lot of time lately trying to figure out why I act the way I do. If you’re an extrovert, you might think I’ve become obsessed if you knew how much time and energy I’ve invested in this pursuit. But as I got to know myself better, I found that to do otherwise would be abnormal for me.

Ever since I can remember I have been introspective. There is no time when my brain is not “on”, churning ideas and concepts in every direction I can conceive of. I was always happy to be alone when I was a child. Loneliness didn’t bother me at all. But still there were times when my friends who were more socially oriented and had more friends made me question whether my introversion was anything to celebrate.

I can remember those summers when I told myself that “next year will be different.” The problem is that I had no idea how it would be different, just because I wanted it to be that way, that’s the way it would be.

But of course, year after year, I was known as the “quiet one.” The extroverts thought it was weird, but they were kind enough to note that when he said something, it was worth listening to. And that was because I had thought about it a lot before it escaped my lips. Everything I said was a work of art, a masterpiece of planning!

As I get to know myself, I’m discovering that I’m not that abnormal. I like to think, be alone, read, learn and investigate things. When I’m with people, I prefer small groups to hordes, and I choose my conversations carefully. I didn’t have many in church today, but the few I did have weren’t short. I like to invest in people, get to know them, make them feel welcome and maybe be to them what most people are not. I can’t do this with everyone. But for those who will participate, I can spend an hour learning the details of their lives. And because I’ve put in the time, it’s easier for me to remember them the next time I see them.

For me that is a strength.

Introverts may be a minority in our culture. Extroverts are considered to live the right way, the only way. But can you imagine a world where everyone is motivated by action without deep thought? I’m not saying that everyone should be like this. If introverts ruled the world, procrastination would sometimes be the order of the day. We need some to think deeply, and some to stimulate us to act. It is a balance designed by God to make what needs to happen happen in the best possible time frame.

And I totally agree with that. Consider the field of politics. You have the elected officials, who are probably the extroverts. They go out and communicate, act and lead. But there is a silent leadership behind the scenes that investigates, reflects, and helps shape the policies these leaders propose. That’s where introverts come in. Without silent leadership to balance the need for action, our world would be far less efficient.

So introversion has just as much value as extroversion.

I also discovered that the way you think is something that will probably never change. So why fight the way it works? If you are an introvert like me, you need your alone time to recharge and reflect. You can enjoy people part of the time like I do. But you need that quiet moment to think and process the details of your life. When you live out of tune with who you are, stress sets in. Your health will suffer because you will feel unbalanced all the time. It’s not fun. I’ve tried it. I don’t like it. It’s like looking at your weakness and saying, “I think I’ll develop this.” No matter how hard you work, you will never get above average.

And that can be really depressing.

So if you’re reading this and you’re an introvert, celebrate who you are by doing what you do best. If you are an extrovert and have come across this page, I hope it helps you understand us better. And don’t be offended if we can only take it in small doses, that’s just the way we are. It is not intended to offend you or your way of life.

So just be yourself and you will be free to do your best.