“Goor mo bindoo nonou” (Thus men were created)
“Goor la! C’est normal” (He’s a man! He’s normal)
“Goor mo mel nonou” (Men are like that)

Really?!…

My sisters, my African sisters, time for a Wake Up Call.

In Senegal, these sayings about men are very common. And somehow, men have managed to impress on our subconscious that it’s okay for them.
– to deceive us,
– to betray us,
– to beat us,
– to break our hearts,
– behave like predators,
– to disrespect us and treat us as they want because they are Men.

Who gave birth to men? Women.

Who raised them? Women.

Who allowed them to behave like primates with the daughters of others because they are Men? Women.

Unfortunately, we women are the enablers.

There are exceptions to the rules, but African women need to STOP accepting men mistreating them just because they are men. We, as a society, have given them a “Pass for life” to treat us how and how they want.

When they deceive us, we tolerate it and tell ourselves, they are only Men, that’s how they are.

When they beat us to death or almost kill us, we tell ourselves, they are only Men, that’s how they are.

When they abandon us and our children when we need them most, we and our surroundings say the same thing: they are only Men, that’s how they are…

Really…

We need to start raising our children differently no matter what society says. Let’s raise them to treat women like queens, to love themselves deeply, to be honest, to love others divinely, to respect women, to be guided by the heart and not by the ego, so that they are kind, generous, loving, so that they learn how to clean and cook so that they can appreciate when someone else does it for them.

Let’s stop accepting the nonsensical beliefs that “men are just men,” thus giving them a lifetime privilege to be idiots, treat women like playthings, and take them for granted. This starts at home, which means you have to model this at home with her husband, if she has one. If she allows her son’s father to mistreat him, the son will most likely emulate her father.

The irony in Africa is that men don’t allow anyone to mistreat their mothers, but when it comes to other women, they have different standards. A woman raised them and took great care of them; they grew up and society took charge of their education. The subliminal matrix they unconsciously submit to once they start hanging out with other men who influence them or with women with no self-esteem who allow them to treat them how they want…they submit to new rules.

However, we, the women, continue to be the enablers and they, the “men who are only men”.

Food for thought.

Queen Mary Faye